When Your Child Says "I Don't Wanna Go!"

Parents,

We've all been there. The keys are in your hand, the gi is in the bag, and out of nowhere your child says it: "I don't want to go."

It's one of those everyday parenting moments — and also a chance to come back to a really important question:

Why did you want your child to start martial arts in the first place?

For most of us, the answer is clear. We wanted them to build discipline, develop character, and learn perseverance. Those are life skills that reach far past the dojo. But when we let kids quit during the hard moments, we can quietly undercut the very values we hoped they'd gain.

Martial arts teaches the importance of showing up — even when it's hard. The same way adults push themselves to go to the gym after a long day, kids need to learn the power of commitment. It's not about it being easy. It's about it being worthwhile.

I see it with my own kids. Even though they're seasoned martial artists, they still have days when they'd rather stay home. The rule in our house is clear: two classes a week, minimum. If they want to skip one day, fine — but they know they'll be there the next. And here's the part that gets me every time: they always leave smiling. Every time. "Glad I went, Dad."

So when your child says they don't want to go, I'd gently invite you to ask yourself: Am I helping them build the discipline and resilience I wanted for them when they started? Letting them quit in moments of resistance can quietly teach the opposite — that it's okay to bail when things get hard or boring. And those are exactly the moments where the growth lives.

Here's how to help your child stick with it

• Reflect on your goals. Remember why you enrolled them in the first place. Confidence? Discipline? A sense of accomplishment? Keep that "why" close.
• Anticipate resistance. "I don't want to go" moments are normal and predictable. When they happen, encourage them to attend anyway — then check in afterward. They'll almost always say they had fun.
• Stay consistent. A regular schedule is what turns commitment into habit. The occasional break is fine; chronic skipping erodes the whole point.

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We're the guides our kids need to navigate these lessons. It isn't always easy, but it's always worth it. One day, they'll look back and thank you for keeping them in it.

Looking forward to seeing you and your kids at the dojo.

Thanks, Shihan Josh Moree